The AllSchnarr AllStar

It all comes at once

It’s kind of a coincidence, but over the past month-and-a-half or so, all three of my older brothers have contacted me in one fashion or another. All of them had essentially the same thing to say—they disapprove of my choices in life, and more importantly, my beliefs.

It’s weird growing up with these people and having them as best friends all my life. Then have them turn their backs on me because I chose a different path.

I’m sure they would tell you a different story—that I turned my back on them—and yes, I kind of did. Everyone in my family is intensely Christian. Over the past few years, I’ve decided I didn’t want anything to do with it. I’m now an atheist and live an “unconventional” lifestyle.

But herein lies the difference. I rejected their lifestyle and belief—I never rejected them as my brothers. They reject my lifestyle and belief and feel like they have to reject me because of it.

I guess it’s a choice that they have the right to make. But after the last times I’ve come in contact with my brothers, I’ve decided that I want nothing to do with them. I’ve always been open to listening to them, but it always ends up with them disappointed and angry with me, if not condemning me.

So that’s it. I guess it’s finally severed. I will never reject them because I disagree with their lifestyle, but until they accept my way of life, then I can’t consider them my family. If they do ever change their minds, I will be happy to accept them again as my brothers. But if you know my family at all, you would agree that will never happen.

So that’s the end of it. Time to really step out on my own and live among my true family—the good friends I have chosen.

Random thoughts about what it means to be a man

“How do I  know when I am a man?” A boy asks.

The father responds, “When you can see more sides to every story than one.”

The boy pauses for a second, then turns to his father seriously and asks, “Are you sure it’s not sex?”

I forget where I heard that, but it really stuck with me.

My dad never taught me that, though he was just as intellectual. In his words, I would be a man when I could take responsibility for my own actions and know that each choice I make is my own. There’s nothing wrong with that idea, but I don’t think that’s what it really means to be a man. There are plenty of people out there who take responsibility for their actions and still make bad choices. In fact, lots of self-righteous assholes take responsibility.

Though I readily admit taking responsibility is onthe path to growing up, I think it takes more wisdom and more patience to see multiple sides to a story. Not enough people in this world really strive to view things from all angles, but that’s really all I try to do.

When I was 17, I thought I had it all figured out. When I was 18 everything went to shit. When I was 19, I realized there might be another side to the story. And now, at 22, I realize there are countless sides to every story.

I’m not just talking about imagining what it would be like to be poor or a different race. I’m not just talking about imagining to see things from a different political view, though that’s getting closer. I’m talking about being completely flexible at the core of my being. I can understand when someone sees everything in the world as beautiful, and I can understand when someone sees everything in the world as shit.

I’m not trying to say this makes me better than other people—there are plenty of things that I suck at. I’m just saying for some reason this comes naturally to me.

It relates to my life story. I’ve moved from one side of the spectrum to the other, and wrapped around, then turned inside out. I’ve been there, and if I haven’t, I’m willing to go there to find out what it’s like.

In some sense, it makes it really hard to hold on to anything as my own. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“So this is what it means to be a man.”

A personal lineage

I just found out my great grandfather on my Dad’s side was in the Black Watch which was a royal Scottish Highlander. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Watch).
My grandfather was in the navy in WW II and landed boats on the shores of Iwo Jima. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Iwo_Jima).

If I have the facts right, on my mothers side my great grandfather was a scientist who worked in research for Proctor & Gamble during the peak of their researching and experimenting. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procter_&_Gamble)
My grandfather, who also fought in WW II, later on became a scientist and a futurist, working for GE predicting the future in efforts to advance scientific research. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandridge_M._Cole).

So on one side I’m descended from scientists and on the other side, fighters.

What the hell does that make me?
Sounds like a good combination for a superhero, or at least a super villain, hopefully.

I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

For all you aspiring filmmakers

For all you aspiring filmmakers

Apple is holding a contest in association with 2008 Insomnia Film Festival. The top 25 movies will not only be added to iTunes but will be shown to some big-time industry players.

But here’s what makes it different:

There’s only a 24 hour timeslot to make the 3-minute film on this Saturday, Nov. 15, and it’s up to you to publicize it.

Find out more about it at http://www.apple.com/education/insomnia/.

Into the deep waters

I woke up Tuesday feeling like Obama needed to win the election. I felt it more than I wanted to win a scholarship to pay off my loans at Columbia. But when I made it to the polls, my head brought me back to where I’ve been for the past year or so. I stuck to my principles and voted third party. And today, the day after the election, I felt like shit.

Why I felt like Obama needed to win, I can’t tell you.

Why I felt like it was the best decision to vote third party would take many open nights to discuss.

Why, today, I felt like shit, I can tell you.

Everyone believes in Obama … and it’s horrible.

When we’ve finally got some courage to strive for change and we voted in a president that many see as a risky choice, he will almost inevitably fail.

I’ll bet on this: In two years time, this country is going to be in deeper shit than most Americans alive have ever experienced before. I believe this based on the way the economy is going, the way the majority of the government is run and also the extravagant promises of Barack Obama.

Hey, I want change too. I want it just as bad as the next guy, but seriously. The way things are going, it’s just going to get worse. And when the United States of America finally came together to say “Yes we can”, to vote for change, and to finally believe in the audacity of hope, only disaster lies ahead.

I voted for something radical because that’s what we need. I voted for change because we were ready for it. And I believed in something that only led me to disappointment. I voted third party.

And I missed two stops on the bus

And I missed two stops on the bus tonight because I was thinking about that first time I moved into your tiny apartment and we fell asleep on the couch watching Heroes. And you were there when I finally was free.

And I pissed my pants a little when I zipped up too soon because I was thinking about your plans for a non-profit organization that made synthetic trees which converted oxygen into carbon-dioxide.

And I cried, just a little, thinking about how I hope only you can be there the last moment I am raging againist the dying of the light in those last moments of my life.

Curtis, only the best of us can be autonomous. As for me, all I can think about the day before you move to New York is that life won’t be as good without you finding the flames in the burnt out ashes with me, here in Chicago.

Hit me with your best shot: The choices behind multimedia

There’s nothing like having it your way, right? At least Burger King says so.

I think Multimedia is the best source for something like that. You can have it however you want it.

I had this idea a while back for making a website based on every source of media possible. I mean, at least a few different media. I always find that when I’m on the web, I will sometimes want to read about something in depth. I will somemtimes want to submerse myself in it by watching a video, and I will sometimes want to just listen, while I’m looking at something else.

I figure, if we are going to be doing all the work to get one idea or one story across, why not take the time to put it in every form we can?

These days it is becoming eaasier and easier. Even if it comes to doing a commentary piece, you can still include some sort of video aspect—you could have the writer read it in front of a camera if you couldn’t make a complete video. You could also do a slideshow fo stills to get the point across.

The possibilities are out there, and they are attainable. Why not hit it from every angle you can?

Everytime I block, everyblock

My block: http://chicago.everyblock.com/streets/rosemont-ave/1214-1298w/

Besides cracking up to see that someone gave a Yelp review of CVS for one star and Walgreens for five stars, I actually learned something.

Usually, when it comes to street crimes, I find myself pretty apathetic. But when it comes to an aggravated robbery on a CTA platform that I use twice a day, and at a time that I barely missed, it starts to make me get a little paranoid.

http://chicago.everyblock.com/crime/by-date/2008/10/13/1435890/

I appreciate being able to know this kind of stuff, but it comes as a shock. I’ve always thought that I was missing crime because of location—which is a huge part of it—but I now realize that a lot just has to do with random timing. I was at that station not a half hour after the crime happened that Monday night.

But I was cheered-up by a Sun Times article about the comic book store a few doors down.

http://chicago.everyblock.com/news-articles/by-date/2008/10/18/1427063/

All in all, I just hope I don’t become paranoid after learning about all the crimes happening on my street.