14th
To slut or not to slut?
In the past year or so, I’ve ended up dating many people younger than I, because they are just as undefined and enthusiastic about life as I. But evetually it sticks out too much—they are insecure and seemingly lost. The difference with me is I’m very self assured and not lost at all. I’m defined by my undefinition and my enthusiasm. “Not all those who wander are lost.” So innevetibly the relationship ends and I move on to the next entusiastic and undefined beauty.
But after slutting myself out at the beginning of summer, I grew tired. I spent the summer mostly alone, catching up with good friends and being independent. It wasn’t necessarily hard to do. It just came naturally. Personality all of a sudden became a lot more important.
But where am I now?
Last night I went to a party with 50 or so beautiful people, and I thought about sluttting myself out, but towards the end of the night, I just wasn’t feeling it—again. One night doesn’t seem like a long enough time to really get to know someone, and a party isn’t the greatest atmosphere either. So I went home to an empty bed—again.
So I’m at this weird point in my life:
Lonely yet independent.
Horny yet discriminate.
I’m not looking for who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, but I am searcing for someone who is as driven as I, as self respecting as I, as quirky, as indepedent, and as enthusiastic about life.
I don’t even know if that’s possible, at this point.
But I’m not willing to give up,
Even if it means going home tonight to an empty bed.
